i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
