i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
