i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
