He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
