Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
