where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
