I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
