i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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