took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
