Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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