OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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