Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
