But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
