That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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