You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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