I'm jealous of your bromance
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
