Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
