Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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