I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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Do I have a choice?
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took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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