I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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