fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
