Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
