we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
