he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
