white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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