around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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