maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
