it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
