I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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