The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
