Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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