he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
