i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
