I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
