All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
