Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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