You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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