Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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