you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
