wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
