i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
