You smell like stripper and shame
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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