im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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