HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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