Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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