Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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