i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
