SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
