ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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