We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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