maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
