Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
