Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you win again, gameday.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
