My cat gives me a boner
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
