votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Who died my cat blue again?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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