god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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